Written 1/10/2025.

Lived September 10th and 11th, 2024.

I watched as they wheeled Mark off to the operating room. They would put a camera down his throat and get pictures of his heart from a different angle. They told me to go up to the third floor waiting room where the operating suites were. By now I had been up for 25 hours.

My children were waking up, reading my texts and the calls started to come in. At the sound of my youngest daughter’s voice on the phone I broke down. As the words of the surgeons started to come back to me, I realized that this might be worse than I thought. I had brushed the weight of their words off; I did not want to hear things like “in the world of bad things that can happen to a heart this is one of the worse.”  Still, in my mind, I was thinking long recovery bad, not he could die bad.

He went in around 5:30 and about two hours later Dr. Ritchie, the cardiothoracic surgeon, came out to speak with me.

A note about Dr. Ritchie. What an amazing doctor and surgeon. He would show us so much kindness, he would sit and talk to us until every question was answered. He was so invested in Mark’s survival. We were so grateful for him.

While talking to him our daughter Robin arrived with a much-needed cup of coffee. I was so glad another person was there to hear what he had to say. And what he had to say was not good news.

The aortic dissection was extensive and there was great concern about his kidneys. When the aorta dissects the blood seeps into the layers of the vein, and it compresses the artery and reduces blood flow to the vital organs. Dr. Ritchie was clear with us, he said Mark is very sick and there is a risk of 20% mortality. But they wanted to hold off on surgery until Friday to allow the blood thinner medication to wash out of his system. If he started to get worse, they would have to reevaluate the timeline.

After we spoke Robin and I went to see him in the SICU, he was intubated and sedated. I had not realized he would not be awake, but they wanted him to rest his body for surgery and sedation is the best way to accomplish that.

It was hard to see my strong independent husband this way. I did not know it would get so much worse. We talked to him and told him how much we loved him. I let him know I was going home to get some rest but that I’d come back in the evening to see him.

I thought to myself, 20%? Those are good odds, he is strong and resilient, he beat cancer, he will beat this too.

I headed home and rested. I could not sleep.

At 4:00 Dr. Ritchie called me; he was taking Mark in for surgery. They could not wait the three days. His kidneys were failing, and his major organs were not getting enough blood. In addition, they could not get a pulse in his lower left leg.

The surgery would last 15 hours, and several things would go wrong. These amazing surgeons operated through the night, till 7:00 the next morning, September 11th.

I did not know it then, but I would never get to talk to Mark again. He would be sedated for the rest of the time he was alive.

At 7:00 I got a call from the OR nurse asking me to come over and talk with Dr. Ritchie. Our kids were all busy getting our grandchildren off to the first week of school so I went alone, thinking I would hear good news.

 It is funny how the mind protects you from the truth. Until it no longer can.

 

 

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